Successful Toilet Training

Things to keep in mind

Learning to use the toilet is a process. There are likely to be accidents, which may cause stress for both the parent and child. Remember that these mistakes are not misbehaviour. Stay calm and look for opportunities to encourage your child.

Sickness, the arrival of a new baby, a time of separation or a major upset in the family will often disrupt, or even regress, a child’s toilet training. Relax and start again when everything has returned to normal.

One further source of complications that can arise with toilet training is that your children are toddlers! By that I mean they can sometimes be independent, wilful and capricious. Just as they need to learn the physical skills of toileting, which get better with maturity and practice, their social and
emotional responses to toileting take time to mature and develop as well.
 
Beware of trying to toilet training too early. Naturally, parents want toileting sorted out as soon as possible, but there are some things you need to have in place first. It is possible to ‘jump the gun’ and start toilet training too early. Then again, if the child is showing signs of readiness, there is no point in delaying training. Physically a child is not usually mature enough until he is approximately two years old. If you wait until the summer when a child is approaching that age and put him into little trainer pants, it can usually be accomplished in a few weeks by being consistent and encouraging. Don’t be discouraged if your child isn’t ready until closer to three years.

Signs of readiness

Your child will show readiness by doing simple things like:

• Pausing and making signs when having a bowel movement

• Having regular bowel movements that are passed easily

• Often staying dry for two hours at a time in the daytime

• Waking up dry from a nap

• Telling you when they are wet or soiled

• Showing an interest in the process

• Having a desire to imitate adults and be ‘grown up’

• Liking the feeling of being clean and neat

• Being able to undress themselves or at least pull their pants down

• Good general health

Unless toilet training is child led (i.e. the child starts to indicate that he has some control, e.g. dry nappies, copies older children or parent etc.), attempting it before two years old can be negative and unnecessarily stressful for both of you.

Some parents find that they have rushed through these stages.

It may be necessary to go back to one of the stages and start again. The last stage (dry at night) can take much longer to achieve in some cases. This is not necessarily anything to be worried about.

A story book

Invent or read a story about a child who starts using the potty or toilet. You might want to take
photos of your child engaged in each of the following steps:

• Tell Mummy or Daddy

• Go to the bathroom

• Take off your pants

• Sit on the toilet or potty

• Try to do a wee or a poo

• Wipe yourself (or ask for help to wipe)

• Flush the toilet

• Get dressed again

• Wash your hands

Children love to look at pictures of themselves and this is a fun way of embedding the knowledge of
what’s involved in using the toilet.

Be supportive but not indulgent

Accidents in the newly trained will happen. Your response to them is important. Simply say something like “Never mind – let’s get some dry clothes.”

Anger and punishment will not help the situation – the less fuss the better. Put your energy into allowing them to help in the clean up. This will help to restore their dignity.

If your child is already toilet trained and has begun to have accidents, resist asking questions that you already know the answer to. Let your child know that he needs changing and change him.

Going number twos

This is an area that can be a big challenge in families. Some children are not happy about depositing anything in the toilet or potty. They like the security of their nappy and that is where they want to go!

You can transition through this stage by taking it step by step. Firstly, let your child go in his nappy – but start as you mean to go on. Take him to the toilet room
where the big people go.

Secondly, get them to sit on the toilet, just like the big people do. As he gets familiar with the surrounding and the language of going number twos – he will be able to relax more and eventually sit there without the nappy on.

Be patient and persistent.

General principles

You cannot physically force your child to use the toilet but you can calmly and confidently encourage them so that they want to do it.  

Be a good model for hygiene and cleanliness. Show your child the importance of hand washing after using the toilet. Be encouraging as they learn this routine. A picture of a little person washing their hands stuck up on the wall serves as a great reminder.

Girls need to be shown to wipe from front to back when they have had a bowel movement. This helps prevent infections.

Atmosphere

Keep it positive and light. A young child’s attitude towards their body is learned from experiences with people who are important to them. Your interactions with your child in toilet training influence the child’s attitude towards their body and self image.

Allow time for a child to admire what they have done and enjoy your attention before flushing the toilet!

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